Taken from LiveJournal:

i don't know, but just as of late, I feel "not myself".

I don't really know how to describe it. I always knew I had like a million different types of friends, but this close knit circle, you know, the one where you can turn to when you're feeling crap like this and can explain to them about what's wrong and all this and that.

well it's dwindled down to not that many. People who I thought I could turn to slowly drifted away that I don't feel at all near close to them.

But with the few people, sometimes, it's hard to get a hold of them (not including email or text messaging that they might not answer) at certain times at night, or just, well... sometimes it's just nice to talk to them either face to face, or IMing, where you might get an immediate response.

I know a lot of people will go "hey you can talk to me about anything, just go on blahblahblah" |: do you know how hard that is, I appreciate your kindness, but sometimes, you or any other person might not be the best person to talk to. Why? Because maybe I feel awkward, or don't want to trouble you with anything.

>"but I'm not troubled at all!"

|: I honestly think it's a bit of a hassle myself. Maybe I'll feel better after, but most likely not. And if I don't say I'm not better, I'll feel bad for wasting your time |:

I'm sorry to feel so pessimistic, I'm going through this time where I don't even know who I am anymore |:

you can see i like |: a lot, I blame Idolmaster IRC. All I see is |: <: and >:

I feel like I'm ranting over nothing. maybe I am, maybe I'm not.

I feel not myself anymore, I feel lost amongst the mass of people around me.

|: this is despair.

|: call me a whiner. go ahead. i don't care. this is my journal and i hell have the right to post anything i want.

i'll probably add more if some more feeling crops up or something along the lines.

Edit: Sorry =riegella!  I got your notes, but I haven't had sometime to reply to them.  No worries, give me a day to get pass this and I'll reply in no time.